Take it easy, take it easy
Don't let the sound of your own wheels make you crazy— The Eagles
When I decided to write about rest for my December theme, I was proud of my future self for extolling the value of boundaries and self-care to my fellow human beings.
But then I didn't take my own advice and ended up pretty sick by Thanksgiving weekend. Now that we're into December and I've lost count of how many viruses we've had in my house, I'm actively working on resting as an imperative for my health and sanity.
I usually decorate my house for Christmas the day after Thanksgiving, but so far all I've done is pick up the wreath I pre-ordered from my daughter's school fundraiser. I slung it onto the hook on our back door when I got home from the holiday bazaar, the tag with my name still on the back.
And I'm going to have to be okay with the fact that it has no bow, because I'm exhausted.
I'm also not sending Christmas cards. When I announced that to my husband this year, he said “Oh, maybe I'll send some.” I feel bad that people may miss these notes, but not enough to push through.
I did crack and bought a pre-lit 4-foot tree from Costco and had it delivered the week after Thanksgiving. My daughter put some ornaments she made at school on it and it looks perfect.
Why the lax attitude towards the holidays? It's not that I don't have the Christmas spirit. I've watched at least 15 Christmas movies on Hallmark, Lifetime, and Netflix already.
It's just that I finally realized that productivity as a value is a trap.
If you're a high performer who accomplishes every task you're asked to do with a high degree of quality or accuracy, what is your reward?
More tasks.
It took me many (many) years to truly understand this idea that there will always be more things to add to my to-do list.
I used to think not finishing items on my list was a personal failure. I believed that productivity was part of the measure of one's value. In truth, nobody could possibly perform all of what was on all of those lists. And they would be never-ending if I allowed them to be. And what about all the things I couldn't do because I was slogging through to-do lists that didn't necessarily matter?
I used to think not finishing items on my list was a personal failure. I believed that productivity was part of the measure of one's value. In truth, nobody could possibly perform all of what was on all of those lists.
I recently read a book that finally helped me hear what I'd been missing for the first 48 years of my life: Oliver Burkeman's Four Thousand Weeks.
What I took away from Burkeman's book is that our modern conception of time is completely screwed up, having been programmed by more than a century of capitalism that profits from human productivity.
One especially insightful passage delves into the idea that we don't even rest for the sake of rest anymore — we have been sold the idea that resting is good because it makes us EVEN MORE PRODUCTIVE. And yes, I'm yelling.
That was a tough pill to swallow, but once I heard him say it (he self-narrates the audiobook), I couldn't unhear it. For weeks I've been recommending 4,000 Weeks to every high achiever I know in the hopes that I can somehow save them by helping them see the light.
Companies encourage people to take their PTO because it makes them more productive when they come back refreshed.
We can't even watch TV anymore without folding laundry or doing something semi-productive like ordering groceries. We feel lazy or unproductive if we sit and watch a whole full-length movie or an episode of whatever we're watching these days.
This especially concerns me because even though I have practiced yoga and mindfulness for decades, I somehow never felt like rest for rest's sake was acceptable. It was always a means to an end (i.e. “I need a break so I can push through the end of this project”) or a reward (“I've worked hard so I deserve to go on that retreat.”)
So as we look toward wrapping up 2022, I would like to suggest we all get some rest.
Not because we earned it, or because it was a tough year, or because it will make us better workers who can crank out more TPS reports, but because human beings need rest to survive — it is a basic physiological need.
“If all the needs are unsatisfied, and the organism is then dominated by the physiological needs, all other needs may become simply non-existent or be pushed into the background. It is then fair to characterize the whole organism by saying simply that it is hungry, for consciousness is almost completely preempted by hunger.”
— Abraham Maslow, “A Theory of Human Motivation” (1943)
So, that's my cue. I've got my cup of tea and my fuzzy socks on and I'm headed to the couch. If you're looking for a holiday movie recommendation, “A Fabled Holiday” was pretty cute.
How will you rest? Share in the comments!
Not sure how to get started on resting? TED has a great post outlining the 7 Types of Rest Every Person Needs.
Maura Charles is the founder of Keep it Human. As a Product Leadership Coach and Consultant, she is on a mission to help teams and organizations embrace human skills like communication and emotional intelligence in their ways of working.
She brings 25 years of experience as an editor, product manager, and digital business leader to bear on the challenges of building human-centered high-performing tech teams.
If you'd like to develop more human business and tech teams that hum together to drive results, check out Keep it Human and follow Maura Charles on LinkedIn.